Monday, July 1, 2013

I have arrived on Facebook

It has been 4 years, 1 month, and 8 days since my fourth birthday.  At that time I requested my own facebook page.  FINALLY  it has arrived.  Perhaps my promised eight birthday present (a subscription to O-magazine) will arrive before I am too old to enjoy it!  That said....I am positively elated that I will now be able to network and share with the entire facebook community.  It is about time after all.  I intend to throw myself full force into my "how to" segments.  I have already liked Oprah's fan page, and shall revel in the opportunity to follow her posts. Furthermore opportunities will abound for public shaming of my human for bad behavior:
buying the wrong cookies
hogging the pillows
touching me with her feet
allowing random friends and acquaintances to pick me up and somehow believing that I enjoy this
putting me in the pool
bathing me
feeding me dry food with no meat
rushing my pooping ritual....

the list is endless.  Humans are extremely difficult to train and control. Public humiliation is an excellent tool for the literate and sophisitcated among us.  Nessarose doesn't speak with words, she only stares.  She has resorted to other methods of control, such as tipping over the trash and eating Leah's panties.  My method is much more effective.  With facebook as a platform I am assured of a much greater success rate. More on this later.

Angus is leaving us.  Which is fine with me since we don't ever get to sleep with him.  What's the point of that?
I am hoping to avoid a summer haircut and bath.  My patina has not yet recovered from the last stripping episode.

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