Thursday, May 23, 2013

I declare myself an orphan.  Wednesday WAS my birthday.  There was going to be a party and presents and extra snacks and visiting friends... At the last moment my human ran away to South Carolina in search of the perfect pot of hony ( a small fat chunky horse). She left me under house arrest in New Jersey with the Foreigners!  I could so easily have flown with her.  I would fit nicely under the seat in an airplane....alas I was alone all day with only the alien Nessarose to keep me company.  Barbara offered me most of the bag of cookies ( which she calls candy because she is from the planet France and that is how they call cookies.)  Angus let me out to frolic a bit.  But I was humanless from 3am of my birthday until 2 am the next day.  And still no presents.  No visiting friends.  Thankfully Angus has insisted that I should have a proper party a different day.  Perhaps he will force Leah to follow through. Though I shall not have a bath.  I intend to adopt a new human.  I hope Oprah will have me. Although presently it is too hot and humid to do anything more than pant.
A Very Merry UnBirthday

Monday, May 13, 2013

Aaaaahhhh....What a long strange trip it's been....My blogging seems ill-fated of late.  Leah has been stretched thin, and what little time we have together is best spent in a tight canoodle of consolation. All my tough talk and feigned disinterest has been put to the side.  After all a dog's first and most important duty is to the happiness of his human.  Leah has needed her canine canoodlers these past few weeks, and Nessarose and I are of course always up to the task.  We've even agreed to put aside our differences for the most part in order to be good dogs to our human.  Nessarose actually spoke with words( instead of her mind reading powers) and she has sworn off eating panties for the present.  Sadly she has not been able to control her G.O.D. (Garbage Obsession Disorder) so there have been some slip ups in that department.
Leah is fond of her routines and the "return of the troops" from Florida causes her great stress.  It doesn't seem to really matter if she is among the returning warriors, or just receiving them.  This was complicated greatly this year by the turnover in staff at the farm.  So instead of welcoming home fellow coworkers we were indoctrinating new recruits.  This is also stressful since we have to indoctrinate them into our home as well.
To top it all off this season we were invaded by foreigners!  First Ian came home for one night, bringing with him Angus.  Of course we know Ian from Florida last year, but he's from California(  that's the same thing as being foreign.)  But he gives really good tummy rubs, so it was a bit sad when the very next morning he left for Holland.  Angus is from England, by way of South Africa.  It's all very complicated.  These strange planets and foreign places.  He's practically moved into the house but he leaves at night to sleep somewhere else.  Which is disappointing, since that's one of the few things men are best for.   He says sweet things to me and rubs between my shoulders, but I am witholding final judgement for now since he keeps insisting to Leah that I need a bath.  Thankfully her loyalty remains with me and she has refrained from subjecting me to such a shameful embarassment. Then the French girl moved into the house.  Barbara.  She is nice enough to leave food where Nessarose can reach it and knock it down for us to share.  I sleep with her on the sofa when Leah is out.  Which brings me to the next point.  Cheyenne is back on weekends as well, so Leah goes out all the time.  Between Cheyenne and the foreigners she is out almost every night.  Our entire  rhythm of life has been disrupted.
As if all that wasn't enough Leah is moving all of our things to a different bedroom, and we've switched to the bathroom on the other side of the house.  She took the small trunk away from the foot of the bed and I can't get in and out of bed without it.  She swears we will start sleeping in the other bedroom any day now. But I think she is afraid of the ghosts.
Then there was bad news about our sister Sombra.  It seems she is injured and will have to go on permanent disability.  This made Leah especially sad.
In the armchair at Grandma's, supervising dictation
Fortunately we have been whisked away for a long weekend at Grandma and Grandpas house.  In spite of poor planning(  Leah forgot our meat and our leashes.) it has all worked out quite well.  We have been lounging and canoodling on the leather sofa.  We slept in late, and there was reading in bed. There was also left over lamb patty from the Turkish restaurant since Leah forgot our meat.  Everyone seems much more relaxed, even Nessarose.
Most importantly Leah seemed content enough to write this post for me.  I intend to sleep next to her head as usual.  As that is my most important post.