Thursday, December 24, 2009

Happy Holidays

Twas the night before Christmas, and all 'round the farm, Not a creature was stirring, not even the little mare "Charm."

The stockings were hung on each stall door with care, In hopes that St. Cookie Monster soon would be there.

The dogs were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of lizard chases danced in their heads....

Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!!

I didn't get to fly to massachusettes with leah this year. maybe next year! Merry christmas and happy holidays to all, canine, equine, human ( even felines.) !!

Monday, December 21, 2009

We had to go to the vet's office yet again today. Nessarose's eyeball. i guess she's going to be fine. too bad the silly thing didn't just fall out and die. i think nessarose would be very appealing with a pirate eye patch. fortunately we have very good health insurance. it's called " leah cross and shield." we don't even have co-pays, and there are no limits. we also get full prescription drug coverage. even alternative therapies such as chiropractic and massage are covered. i guess we have dental, but we never really need to use it. no mental health coverage. explains a lot about nessarose, doesn't it? she suffers from g.o.d. garbage obsession disorder. also called a god complex. it's really too bad she isn't qualified for mental health care, since she would clearly benefit from some proper medication. but i digress...

apparently this health care thing is a MAJOR issue among humans right now. that's because they don't have hosts to take care of them like we dogs do. see we've developed our dependency upon humans to the point of co-dependency. which really just means that we've convinced humans that they need us. can't live without us. it's obvious that humans just need to wise up and evolve into a falso co-dependency with some other life form. perhaps something with double thumbs, since the thumb thing is really the only reason humans have taken over the earth. dogs would certainly be world leaders if we only had thumbs. we are obviously so much more clever. look at all the perks we've won without thumbs to help us! we don't really do anything but lounge about like royalty, and hunt dragons. in exchange we receive full housing benefits, at least 2 meals a day (plus snacks), full health benefits, ( some highly strung dogs even have mental health coverage!), paid vacations, and an excellent retirement plan.

and they think that they're the one's who are evolved!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Nessarose has really done it this time. she's actually managed to injure her eyeball. it seems she has a corneal ulcer. of course she's now getting all the attention. leah has to put medicine in her eye a gazillion times a day, and she gets extra cookies for being good and then extra food for her oral medication. if you ask me the whole thing has been blown completely out of proportion. leah goes on like nessarose's eye could just pop out at any moment. i doubt it's anything more than a tiny scratch. she still runs around all day and goes in the pond, and she stole part of my breakfast and my dinner. i'm being completely ignored. ludicrous. maybe i should break a bone.

Friday, December 11, 2009

My camoflage scheme didn't go quite the way i anticipated. the freshly painted poles were hung to dry way above my head level, ao without green paint i had to resort to rolling in the sand. needless to say i have not managed to get close to the iguana dragon again. in fact, i haven't seen it at all. perhaps my efforts have been enough to scare it away permanently. i can only hope. doing battle with such a large dragon could definately be dangerous- a big risk to take for something completely inedible.

of course nessarose would eat it, but she is little more than a trough-swilling pig. i on the other hand, am a gourmet. that means "a connoseur of eating and drinking. someone who lives to eat rather than simply eating to live." perhaps i'll leave this dragon to the pig, if she takes enough time away from the garbage to even notice it.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009


Hello all. i know i've been sort of m.i.a. lately. apologies. please allow me to explain: when i lost touch with everyone i believe we were experiencing the saga of the steps. my last post explained that my little plan had worked beautifully, but i had lost blogging privileges for a few days.

well after that things really went wild. our lovely farm here in loxahatchee has been plagued by a rather large iguana. it must be over 1 foot in length with a tail at least twice it's body length! that makes it the biggest dragon i have ever hunted! it's obviously a very dangerous animal, and i have been unspeakably busy dealing with this latest pest. nessarose is no use at all. she's always too busy obsessing over the garbage to bother helping when i get close to the dragon. besides, she ate an iguana once and it made her so sick she almost died. i'm not stupid. every dog knows that dragons are poisonous and you shouldn't eat them. killing them, however, is entirely appropriate and completely necessary!

well, i haven't caught him yet. but i'm getting close.

to top it off leah left for new york without us. nessarose and i had to spend 4 days with olby. this was excellent because he understands all about being dirty, and doesn't clean my beard everyday. he also loves to share all his meals with us.

however, and this is really important, one must act forlorn when one's human returns from a holiday. nessarose really is forlorn, so her general excitement whenever leah comes home( even from the grocery store) gets the better of her and she is incapable of pretending to hold a grudge. i, on the other hand, have perfected the art of feigning forlorness. i ignored leah for a whole day, and rested on the chair instead of the couch with her.

this led to some other problems, as the first night i tried to snuggle on the couch she accidentally kicked me with her feet, and i didn't mean to do it but i snapped at her. i was immediately scruffed, and shoved to the floor. well, any terrier worth its salt can't take that lying down. so i had to start my grudge all over again. my coldness was immediately misunderstood, and i was scruffed and ignored a second time! disgraceful! nessarose gets scruffed all the time for eating the garbage, but that's the most scruffing i've ever experienced in a 24 hour window!

things have finally calmed down, and i am curled up on the sofa against leah's warm knees while i dictate this post. my grudge is ended and things are pretty much back to normal. leah says ed has moved on to texas( that's another planet like misourri, but somehow different).

i shall be devoting myself fully these next few days to the hunting of the iguana dragon. leah is re-painting the jumps in the horse arena. if i can manage to get enough paint and sand on me, it should make for excellent camouflage. when she isn't looking i'm going to rub myself along the freshly painted poles, there are some lovely green ones. that should make it much easier to stalk the iguana dragon. she has even unwittingly left several of the poles with green paint on cinder blocks close to the ground. right at my shoulder level.