Monday, March 11, 2013


It snowed on Thursday evening, but thankfully by Saturday it had warmed up to spring-like weather.  Good thing since I have been stripped of my coat ( and my lovely patina with it).
Of most interest this week: the human debate over the proper definition and use of the word "catawampus." Annemarie used the word casually Friday evening as we were leaving the barn.  It came up again Saturday night while the humans were out together at the Lamplighter.  Sadly I am not allowed in restaurants, so I had to gather the information from Leah.  But she came home telling me what a cute little "cattywampus" terrier I am, and I knew it had obviously been discussed at length.  Upon reading her text messages later on ( I always check her phone when she is not looking, and I can reach it easily from the bed where she leaves it charging overnight.), I now feel the need to set the record straight.  
According to humans believe the definition of "Catawampus" to be:
an Adjective meaning
1. askew, or awry
2. positioned diagonally or cater-cornered
It is common in Southern and mid-Western American speech.

Humans may choose to use it this way, though I don't understand why.  I know exactly what a Catawampus is, and I know that there happens to be one living above the utility sink in the barn.  It is a pretty standard specimen.  Though, it is quite morbidly obese.  Leah refers to it as "Marbles."  It seems too fat to be any real threat to anyone, but I keep a close watch as everyone knows that Catawampi are closely related to dragons.  Though they devolved away from the ability to fly and breath fire many epochs ago, they are still able to make themselves invisible.  Perhaps the best known Catawampus of all time is the infamous Chesire Cat.  This Marbles disguises itself as a cat also.  They can be very dangerous and are known to cause stark-raving-madness in other animals.  Marbles is certainly too fat and lazy to do much of anything other than sleep these days.  
At any rate, you may imagine my relief upon reading Leah's texts and discovering that her father had quite correctly defined "Catawampus."  
So as Dr. Epstein indicated, the Catawampus is:
"Directly inferior to the cloacal fenestration of the New Caledonian subspecies of Platypus is the syndochian nodule commonly called a catawampus ( plural catawampusses, not catawampi)."
Thank you Grandfather.  This is in fact the correct definition of the Catawampus.  They are associated with platypi because they do lay eggs.  However, I must correct Dr. Epstein, because the correct plural is Catawampi. 
But enough of all that.  For all I know Nessarose might be a Catawampus.
If anyone else would like to share a definition of Catawampus, I welcome all attempts ( though of course mine is the only correct one, and should you submit a definition worthy of inclusion in one of my esteemed posts, prepare to have it thoroughly ridiculed!)

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