Monday, March 3, 2014

the road to Oscar ( and hopefully Oprah...Oh fine! I will do the Ellen show!)

Great progress has been made. I was adored thoroughly for most of the day.  We canoodled for hours.  I was upside down on her lap for much of the afternoon, and petted, stroked, and scratched from head to toe with BOTH her hands.  The only time she stopped was to work on my screenplay.  Of course this is totally acceptable.  The "superdog" was forced to retire to the bed in a state of dejected embarassment.  She was not adored at all today. I had BOTH hands exclusively. Furthermore, my screenplay is complete and it has been submitted to Harvan Productions for review.  I am confident that they have to put it into production.  The genius of it is so great.  There will undoubtedly be budgetary concerns, as the final screenplay includes some elaborate stunts and special effects.  But these are essential enhancements to the artistic integrity of the production.
We have assembled an excellent ensemble cast on the heels of "Harvans in Wonderland."  I can only hope they will put the same effort and care into my picture.  My biggest concern and reservation lies with my human.  Though the screenplay is genius, I fear she is the weakest link in the casting.  Except of course for Nessarose.  I have allowed Nessarose to remain in the screenplay, but it is my great hope that her scenes will end up on the editing room floor.  Although she was given a soundtrack.  I have stooped so low!
Nessarose will do her own stunts and accidents do occasionally happen...
practicing my sad puppy dog eyes.
Regardless- our little movie will certainly go viral and we will be famous as predicted.  Unfortunately it seems Oprah really has retired from talk show hosting.  Leah continues to push me to set my sights on the Ellen Show.  My feelings are mixed, though she did bring pizza to the Oscars.  I love pizza!  mmmm....cheeeesey goodness.
I am designing my own tartan.  Macdonwold and I have formed our own Scottish clan here in the wilds of New Jersey.  We will need our own tartan, particularly since we will soon be famous and appearing at such magnificent evens as the Academy Awards.  It seems fashion design is something all glamorous creatures get into eventually so I might as well start now.   We will be Clann Macdonish Hamwold. I envision a red based tartan, with some yellow and a royal kind of indigo bordering on purple running through it.  Our crest will of course be a fire breathing stag wearing a crown, and our motto " All for cheese and cheese for all!"

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