So in the spirit of patriotism- I submit my own "State of the Union (union of the great and glorious states and activities of the one and only....Hamish McDougall McDuff. )
2013 is off to a fabuolous start. First we stayed home in New Jersey for the winter, where there has already been a good helping of snow (my personal
favorite) and the weather has remained wonderfully cool. So much beter than those sticky hot days in Florida! When there hasn't been snow, we have been blessed with mud, my second favorite. Furthermore I have singlehandedly contained the mouse infestation in the house, so when I am not wet, icy , or muddy, I am certainly comfortable and cozy in the house. Leah has taken to feeding us a small amount of meat with every meal. I haven't been bathed in several months due to the cold, so...safe to say we are living in relative domestic bliss.
Foreign Policy and Border Controls:
Here we continue to have some issues. Our border is poorly patroled and there are almost no safeguards to prevent outsiders from getting in. The fence is easy to sneak under, and since Hurricane Sandy pieces of it are still missing. Of course this is not to mention the obvious- Leah never locks the door. I am forced to remain in a state of hypervigilance- sounding the alarm at any unusual sound or sight. Furthermore her late night sneaking around forces me to the only logical conclusion : She is dating without my permission, approval, or guidance. This has of course been confirmed by my keen sense of smell. A new man hanging around means new treaties and trade negotiations. A summit meeting was arranged, and though he stole my pillow, he does give excellent belly rubs. Of course there should be a large spike in GDB( Gross Domestic Bacon) , since my hunger strike has led to more and more meat appearing in the kibble! Perhaps he will become an ally in my quest to meet Oprah. Anything is possible.
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