Thursday, November 12, 2009

The 8th Wonder

I am the 8th wonder of the world. i know this because leah tells me so nearly everyday. i have no idea who the first 7 are. she once mentioned someone named taj. but i've never been invited to play with him.

i was born may 22nd 2005. my father is a famous adventurer and slayer of dragons ( i think these are a larger version of lizard. i am also an adventurer and slayer of lizards- which are really just little dragons. so we are a family of dragon-slayers!) his name is bilbo baggins, and he is a hobbit. which makes me half of a hobbit. this sounds about right since hobbits are short with stout builds and large hairy feet. i am short, stout, with large hairy feet. my mother is named for an irish drinking song- the barley mo. i hate to speculate as to what this says about her family tree...

of course i don't remember my parents at all. i've lived with leah since i was 9 weeks old. i thought a little personal history would be useful for this project, so i swiped my birth certificate and asked leah to look up my parents. that's how i know how important bilbo was, and that my mother was probably a heavy drinker. the only mystery to me is that i am somehow scottish. maybe that's what happens when you cross an english hobbit with an irish lady. regardless.

my first name was brutus. leah changed it to hamish. hamish mcdougall mcduff. she says that this sounds much more scottish. to me it sounds like tug of war! grrr, grrr, ruff, ruff, arrr... i'm also known as hammy, hamlet, manlet, the haminator, danish hamish, hamster, hamel, pork chop, fatty, and little butt.

for my 4th birthday this past may i requested a facebook page. i'd been angling to get one since the holidays last december, but leah is technologically challenged. well my birthday came and went. finally about a week ago- she told me i could start my own blog! this means i get to share all my dragon adventures with whoever tunes in. i can also share secrets about cheese, and steak, and beef jerky.

on second thought, i'm not going to share any of those secrets.

so. from the information i've gathered i am a 4 years old hobbit/ scottish terrier. my humans are leah and ed. i have two siblings. my older sister ,nessarose, is a blue heeler. but i googled her too, and she is actually the wicked witch of the east. she comes from another planet called OZ. she's also on broadway in a play called "wicked-" how appropriate! she has telekinetic powers, can jump really really high, and speaks in her own language. i think she can also teleport. she's obsessed with garbage cans. my older brother, revel, is a french warmblood. he's the biggest dog i've ever seen. leah says when dogs get really big like that we call them horses. so i guess revel is a horse. leah has a lot of horses. it's very important not to let on that i am smaller than them. when they come toward me or put their heads over their doors i make a lot of big barking and grring noises. to fool them. it has worked so far. everyone thinks that i'm as big as a horse.

leah's starting to do the dishes, which means it's almost time for bed. ed went away to missouri, which is some sort of other planet. he's probably never coming home. bad news, since he gives a lot more cookies than leah and he tells me what a big important man-dog i am. ( he also says that i am not the 8th wonder of the world, and tells leah to stop emasculating me with so much attention and tummy rubbing. i don't know what that means either. she says the vet emasculated me when i was 6 months old and she can't fix that now.)

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