Scotsmen are great adventurers. Myself I am descended from a long line of explorers, adventurers and all around swashbucklers. My earliest ancestors battled dragons.
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painting by Margaryta Yermolayeva http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/margaryta-yermolayeva.html
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These days the beasts are hard to come by, so few of the modern day Macdonish Hamwalders have ever even seen one. I am mostly plagued by catawampi. Slippery devils, they are very difficult to track, though easily dispatched upon their discovery as they often fall into long protracted sleeps.
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Gandalf the Grey |
My stars appear to be aligning. This seems appropriate since my birthday is approaching. It is a major milestone. 10 years old for a dog is beyond the middle of life for most of us. I confess I do not feel middleaged. Only wiser. Perhaps I shall become a wizard and live in bearded magical immortal glory. Just like Gandalf.
I admit to spying on my Human. My industry has paid dividends, since I do believe I have discovered my birthday present. She has been pouring over books about Scotland for several weeks. She has purchased a number of new woolen items of clothing, and my kilt and bow tie have been got down from the closet.
Therefore I deduce: We are going to Scotland.
In light of this I am completely at a loss for words. Nevertheless I must try...
SCOTLAND! my native land! The place of my ancestors. Place of mist, mountains....and D R A G O N S
If I am lucky enough to catch one I will bring it home and display it as a full- mount trophy. Obviously.
My human shall receive a Cleopatra-collar style necklace of its claws. And I will feast upon its liver!!
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I AM THE BEAR! MAGNIFICENT AND TERRIBLE... |
I have never flown on an airplane before. Only because I have heretofore refused to endure the indignity of riding beneath the seat in a pet caddy. However I will all too gladly suffer this humiliation in order to visit my ancestral lands. It will be a great homecoming. I fully intend to elope with some strapping Scotsman. It is my destiny.
PS. Dear Human: I also know about the tablet. Thank you. Now please set up my instagram account immediately. I have a lot of catching up to do.
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Ready? I was born ready. |
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