10 reasons

I remain somewhat vexed.  Though not so terribly so.  In an effort to lift my human"s spirits and educate her as to my purpose simultaneously,  I have composed a top 10 list.   These types of things appear to be popular these days, so it seemed both appropriate and humorous to attempt one myself.

Top 10 reasons not to give up on the male species of the human race:

10) Males are generally dirtier than females.  They have a greater understanding of any patina and are therefore less inclined to be concerned about bathing me.

9) Males understand and respect facial hair.  Even if they do not have it.  DON'T TOUCH THE BEARD.

8) They pee standing up.  (so does Nessarose, but she is also an alien-so not really of any particular sex, and therefore she does not count.)

7)Males do not like leashes.  They also frequently go "commando" - that is to say- without any collar. I aspire to this.

6) Males do not blame me for their farts.  ( this is a common problem among females ) Men
simply admit to them. Passing gas is such a beautiful thing anyway- not sure why the girls always try to pass theirs off on me- they only look foolish, since clearly they are immediately identified by the smell.

5) Humping.  Need I say more.

4) Leah really likes them. Until they screw up that is.  They usually screw up.  But someday we will have one that doesn't.

Look-  an excellent doughnut!

3) The male species does not believe in dressing dogs in clothing.  Thank heavens someone out there is reasonable!  I will be printing bumper stickers:  "Do Not Dress Your Pets."

2)I cannot confirm this totally- but given the length of time men spend on the toilet when using it- it seems they give great contemplation to pooping.  This is an essential of dog-dom.  All man-dogs like myself put great consideration into optimal pooping locations- taking into account weather, temperature, wind patterns....there is just so much to say about this

1)   Men over-feed.  It's a fact.   They don't give a flying fart if  I get fat. And more is always better.

Thank you all for reading.
Post Script:  To "Leah's biggest fan"- I appreciate your sentiments.  Though I do wish you would identify yourself,  or simply change your name to "Hamish's biggest fan"  I hope you will comment further, whoever you are.