Friday, November 8, 2013

A Rebuttal

I put my feet in my mouth often.  Which is both tasty and satisfying ( for any foot-itch), as well as reassuring.  But it seems I have proverbially stuck my foot in my mouth....(still not sure why that is a bad thing at all) with relation to this Joe issue.  Joe has been calling Leah his girlfriend, and us his family for many weeks.  So I felt it appropriate to publish my post about the difficulties of sharing the bed with a boyfriend etc. etc.   Well little did I know that when I tagged Joe in our facebook announcement his other girlfriend would contact us.  So it seems that Joe has had another girlfriend this whole time.  Needless to say I am horrified that my blog post led to such troubling news ( though somewhat relieved to have the truth out).  It seems I have made a serious error in character judgement, as I believed Joe to be totally sincere.  Leah is obviously horrified and disgusted.
I have taken down "I hold these truths to be self-evident part II" out of respect for my distraught human.  That post contained my brilliant poem: "A poem for Joe."  A work I believe to be of particular poetic genius, and an excellent example of my free verse abilities....but enough about me....I am more deeply troubled by a more serious concern.
Leah seems determined to give up on the prospect of men altogether.  Oh sad day to think that we wouldn't have a boyfriend ever again because of this one disappointment!( ahem- Leah insists I clarify- this is another in a string of many disappointments.)But I am a great lover of men.  I have been adored by many these years, but the complex balance in relationships requires my human's interaction to achieve the correct attention and devotion from the man.  Otherwise we cannot properly bond for man-dog fun.
Leah is so greatly discouraged she says she will never date again.  I refuse to be so disheartened. The answer is obvious. This man was just not good enough for us.  I call upon all our close friends and relations to help halt this downward spiral! Give my human renewed faith that somewhere out there...beneath the pale moonlight....someone's thinking of us...and loving us tonight.....
whoops. that's someone's else's song.
Give my human renewed faith that somewhere in this big wide world is a wonderful partner for her and our little animal family! Thank you.

1 comment:

  1. Hamish, please tell your human that she should not give up! that she is too smart, fun, goodlookin' and great to ever give up, or to waste her time on that awful human, Shmoe or whatever his name WAS. Good riddance, now she can find someone deserving of her! Please relay this message and lots of slobbery kisses.